Actual roman epitaph for a dog
humans are the same
I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).
Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,
Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.
Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille
Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.
Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem
Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis
Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,
Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.
Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas
Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,
Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,
Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,
Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter
And here’s my translation:
Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years). For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck. I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human. Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself! You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps. You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you. Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...
tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved. (another translation with some glossing of the text.)
These make me very happy inside. Plus size mannequins for men, it seems like a fairy tale.
oh my i wish the lady ones had tummies???
Anyways, ignoring the cannibalism fetish, there are plus size female mannequins as well, Nike uses them sometimes!
These ones from Target too
There should be more in the world, but they’re definitely out there. Anyways. Now we can address the cannibalism fetish if yall really want to,
How are we supposed to leave tumblr when sentences like “anyway, ignoring the cannibalism fetish,” exist
Yall what happen to op?
my god,, no,,, hairypigcub what did you do?
For the Meme
i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.
til death or some guy do us part
laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!
i trusted you
Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people
Never will these not be cute.
One of my all time favourite things I’ve seen tumblr
we shortly interrupt your regular shitposting program with these reptiles
Concept:
A horror comedy about a pizza delivery guy who has to deliver several last minute pizzas on the graveyard shift. The gimmick is that each house he visits is in the middle of another horror movie. Like, the first house has a serial killer chasing the guests, the next house is in a zombie outbreak, the next house has a swamp monster, and so on. And all the pizza delivery guy cares about is delivering the pizza.
Also, Rami Malek has to play the pizza delivery guy.
if this movie doesnt at some point include the line “what, no tip?” we riot
hmm correction: “what, no tip?” is the title of this movie
The movie’s cover / poster is Rami Malek surrounded by all these horror movie monsters while holding up a pizza box. He’s making this face:
I wholly support this.
I would pay with my life to watch this
please, I beg of you-
We deserve this. We really do. When someone is in crisis, they deserve HELP, no jail or death.
We can have have this.
Quite aside from every other reason this is a good idea...
They like to talk about disabled people as a burden on society, and why should society pay for them? Well, for starters, because that's why we have a society. But also, many people who love them will live happier and healthier lives and be more productive if all the weight of taking care of their loved ones wasn't on them and they didn't have to fight the world every step of the way. So if you're talking to the kind of selfish asshole who won't accept the argument that protecting and caring for the disabled is the right thing to do and that's why society should do it, if they're going on and on about burdens to society... point out to them how much more productive the people who are currently caring for those people, by themselves, without help from society, could be with help.
(It is always helpful to have a variety of arguments in your toolbox. Many people express dismay that so many common arguments are "this is how you benefit from doing something good for others!", but honestly, Western civilization is so deeply inculcated with selfishness, we managed to take a religion about helping the needy and caring for others, and turn it into "bad things only happen to bad people". Knowing what argument might convince a selfish person is often crucial to making your point.)
Louis Le Breton was a French painter who specialised in marine paintings. He executed illustrations of occult demons, working from engravings by M. Jarrault, for the 1863 edition of “Dictionnaire Infernal” by Collin de Plancy.
“So Owlstilts there is Prince Stolas - he’s High Prince of Hell, very important - call him Your Infernal Majesty and try not to emit any mouse-like frequencies. Then there’s Forcas by the cheeseboard, interesting guy, High President of Hell - correct form of address is High Mister President and don’t mention gerrymandering. Don’t mix him up with Beur, he’s a Great President of Hell. Oh, there’s Melchom, with the rather lovely Hermès bag - let’s introduce you to Melchom, he’s the Demon Who Carries The Purse.”
“The Demon Who Carries The Purse?”
“Yes, he’s wonderfully down to earth - great to take along on shopping trips.”
“Yes, I can see that. Who’s that normal lady with the bat-hawk?”
“Oh, that’s Flaga.”
“Flaga the High President? Flaga Who Stands On A Hawk?”
“No. Just Flaga. One name, like Beyoncé.”
“Really?”
“She has a very clear brand.”
“More posts like this” has been showing me some weird old posts lately
I feel like we’re sleeping on Leonard here. Leonard. Really?
And Furfur.
I wondered where Neil came up with Furfur.
Also Lucifer’s got some cake.
A hilarious way to learn where the name came from and also that I have not watched good omens season 2
CALL YOUR BOY LIBRARY BOOKS THE WAY IM CHECKING HIM OUT
CALL YOUR BOY A HARDCOVER THE WAY I’M TAKING OFF HIS JACKET
CALL YOUR BOY A BOOK THE WAY I WANT TO GET BETWEEN HIS COVERS
CALL YOUR BOY A BOOK THE WAY IM RUNNING MY FINGERS ALONG HIS SPINE
CALL HIM AN E-READER THE WAY IM TURNING HIM ON
CALL HIM MORE FUNDING FOR LIBRARIES THE WAY EVERYONE WANTS HIM
CALL HIM A WELL-LOVED BOOK THE WAY HE'S FALLING APART IN MY HANDS
LMAO the last one! The strongman’s immediately like “No. No, absolutely not. Nope.” and the bodybuilder looks around like “Are you kidding me? I’ll die. You know that, right? I’ll die?”
The Rogue, the Paladin, the Barbarian have a day to themselves and enjoy some friendly competition.
This is such a fun video to watch. Not only do you see 3 versions of masculine fitness and strength but with each movement you can almost see where their weight is distributed and where they place their control. Which makes it fun to think about body builds and fantasy characters.
Oh shit. No.
Shit.
Thank you
Just gonna reblog this out of gratitude because I actually did forget…
Fffffffff let me get right on that.
and then reblog for the next forgetful son of a bitch
I’m so great full for everyone that is reblogging this. I totally forgot to take mine
I think that there is some sort of unspoken fairy godparent thing where you see this, realize that you forgot your meds, and rebagel it because if you forgot someone else must have. And in our turn we all take care of each other, even if we don’t know it.